What I want you to take away from this is that you can't afford to settle and God knows what you need. As a human being with needy self indulging flesh, you can have a tendency to mistake what you want with what you need. In doing this, you get so impatient with God that you try to make Him give you a man. So now when any man comes around that looks good and says that he loves Jesus you're like thank You God for my huzzzzband not even realizing that you're settling for a knock off! You were willing to settle for a counterfeit because you confused something you wanted as being something you needed. One of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 3:5, "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding." At some point you have to understand that your understanding is not equivalent to Gods understanding or His will for your life. As women we have a tendency to make choices based off of feelings, especially when it comes to men. The mistake that people typically make in choosing a spouse is that they choose a person who fits them for where/who they are in the moment. When you allow God to choose your spouse, He chooses someone who can meet you where you are but who can also grow with where He is taking you. I want you to take a moment and ask yourself this question, would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who fits your dysfunction, right now, someone who fits your neediness, right now, someone who fits where you are, right now but as you mature, develop, and grow, they still remain where you are...right now?
You have to remember that you attract the type of person that you are, so when you have a needy spirit, you are likely going to attract someone who will feed that neediness. The problem is what happens when you grow out of that; what are you going to do when that person doesn’t grow with you because you yoked yourself up with a man who likes a needy woman? He likes for women to be dependent upon him so now when you grow out of that and you learn to be dependent on Christ instead of a relationship, this man can’t accept you because he only knew how to handle you where he met you. Then what? Ya’ll break up and you say “oh we just grew apart.” No, ya’ll didn’t grow apart, ya’ll were never meant to grow together! This is what happens when people focus on what they want in the moment, someone who fits where they are right now, versus someone who can grow with them into who God has predestined them to become. You have to remember that you who are right now is not indicative of what God has in store for you in the future. You can’t afford to settle for someone who fits your right now but who won’t even be able to touch the threshold for who God will develop you into. It’s nothing more than a trap to hinder your growth in Him.
I know it can be tempting to look at everyone who is in relationships, those who are getting engaged or married, and those who are starting families and thinking to yourself how much you are looking forward to it being your turn. Don't allow this however to put you in a position to become discontent, covetous, or willing to settle. Just because you watched a movie with a great love story that doesn't mean you need to go out here and find you a man. Just because you and ex boo things favorite song was playing at the mall that is not a sign for you to go back and open that closed door. Just because you ran into so and son’s momma, cousin, and em' and they told you how you were the best girlfriend he had that does mean you try to rekindle that dead flame. Just because these men slide into your DM's with the hey beautiful messages that doesn't mean you have to entertain it. Need I go on? Don't allow this holiday season to make you feel left out of the love loop while everyone else is booed up and you're over there cuddled up with your third slice of sweet potato pie. You are worth waiting on Gods best and because you know your value and worth you know that you can't afford to settle.
Love you ladies!